ME

I thought it would be "fun" (or not) to take some pictures of myself for before/after references. Obviously, the time to do this would have been about 50 pounds ago when I was at my heaviest, but, quite frankly....I don't want to see what I looked like 50 pounds ago ever again. EVER. AGAIN. So, here I am at my current weight...

OH SWEET BINDER CLIPS

Check out these binder clips I picked up today at Michael's, in their $1.00 bins. They've got clever little sayings on them such as "burn, toss, never, later, one day, forget it", and my favorite...&#?;$#! Remember when I first confessed to being a binder clip enthusiast? I even once had my friend Amanda parked on the floor of Michael's with me one Saturday night helping me dig through a bin of binder clips. Ok, maybe I was the only one actually sitting on the floor...but she did nothing whatsoever to stop me from embarassing myself. 

Oh, sweet sweet binder clips. I love you.

LOOKING FORWARD

I've been thinking lately about all the things I can't wait to do as I continue (even though I'm STILL stuck) this journey. I've realized that I've cheated myself out of alot of things for a long time. Things I've always wanted to do but felt were out of reach. Now, I'm starting to get excited about all the things I want to do, and thinking up even bigger things! Here's the rundown so far, in really no particular order:

• kayaking
• white water rafting
• downhill skiing/snowboarding
• rock climbing
• bungee jumping
• run a 5k (for starters!)
• go to a theme park and ride every roller coaster, without having to squeeze myself in the seat!
• wear cute little sundresses
• never buy another plus size piece of clothing again. EVER.
• go back to school and study to be a nutritionist or personal trainer? Maybe!
• more to come!! I just have to think them up. HA!

I also told Paco that I'd love to go on a Caribbean cruise when I hit my goal weight. What a great way to celebrate, dontcha think?

GUILTY PLEASURES

Have you met the latest love in my life?


It's my blackberry curve 8530. I'm in love. I'm not usually the type of person that "splurges" alot, but this is one guilty pleasure I just couldn't live without. I'm hooked.
My friends might even go so far as to call me obsessed with this little beauty. If that would include taking the precious with me into the bathroom so I can check my facebook from the tub holding it in my hot little hands at nearly every possible moment, then I guess I'm guilty as charged.
Don't we all need a guilty pleasure?

GET-WELL-SOON-COMBO

Sick and Tired. Literally. I was up half the night coughing, and then finally fell back asleep sitting up against the wall. Today the coughing continues, my stomach muscles ache, and my back is bothering me again. I still look like I have pink eye (I don't), my eyes are bloodshot from the sinus infection. Oh yeah, and then there's the 100 degree temp. Joy!

The good news is I shouldn't be contagious after having been on the antibiotics for 24 hours. This is especially good news for my girlfriend Jenni who visited me at work today, and who I hugged and probably breathed all over. Sigh. She had the prettiest pink coat on today. That girl knows how to dress.

Anyway.

Tonight, I will go to bed ready and armed! Here is my latest defense against evil....I like to call it my get-well-soon-combo. I know, not really that clever.

If you want the really gross details....the neosporin is for my nose which is so sore from all the nose blowing! Why yes, it IS attractive after applied. The eye drops are a desperate attempt to look like I haven't been out all night drinking, and the fisherman's friend cough drops taste like crap but actually work.
I'm really looking forward to my bedtime nyquil cocktail...and to think that I thought lemondrop martinis were good! I have had the pleasure of an entire bed to myself....due to the fact that Paco will have nothing to do with me right now. Apparently the heaping pile of used tissues on my nightstand and a wife slathered in vaporub is a turnoff.
Good to know.
At least all this sick business gives me something interesting to blog about....

GET-WELL-SOON SOUP

I am under the weather. WAY under. After a miserable night of coughing, blowing my nose, nursing a sore throat, and facebooking from the comfort of my bed on my blackberry at 3am concentrating on my rest, I called in sick to work and headed to the Doctor. Diagnosis? Full blown sinus infection. I will be kind and not tell you what symptoms require a diagnosis of full-blown sinus infection.

Anyway.

I have come up with the perfect get-well-soon-recipe. It is pictured below.

Yes friends, my recipe includes a bowl of homemade vegetable soup, one glass of ice water, echinacea (which was supposed to protect me from the crud in the first place), ibuprofen, and antibiotics. Yum.
For those of you interested, here is my "recipe" for the homemade vegetable soup. Be forewarned, this is a throw-together-whatever-you-have kind of deal. That really is all I did, and it turned out to be one of the best soups EVER!!
Vegetable soup
3 32-oz containers of vegetable broth (better yet, make your own. No, I didn't. I'm sick!)
2 cups each sliced carrots, celery, onion and zuchinni
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can progresso light rice and vegetable soup
1 pkg morninstar "griller crumbles", (you can substitute a 1lb of ground beef if you wish)
2 cups peas
pepper and sea salt to taste
In large pot, combine broth, veggies, tomatoes and soup. In a seperate pan, brown your "meat", and add in to large pot. Simmer until vegetables are tender, but not mushy. Then, add in peas and simmer for about 5 minutes.
This is good with a sprinkle of parmesan on the top. Mmmmm. I feel better already!

NOT COMPLAINING

I'm not complaining....about how I worked my tail off all last week to get ready for inventory at work.

I'm not complaining....about the 12 hour days I worked over the weekend.

I'm not complaining....about how much time I spent at home doing paperwork.

I'm not complaining....about, how, in the period of a few hours, all of that hard work was rendered completely useless.

I'm not complaining....about the fact that now I must begin again. At square one.

I'm not complaining....about my fierce head cold, earache, sore throat and possible case of pink eye.

I'm not complaining....about how exhasuted and crabby I am about it all.

Nope, I'm not complaining.

I'M KINKY

No, not like THAT, what are you thinking?

I have completely messed up my back, neck and shoulders. Seriously. I woke up yesterday morning with a little kink in my lower back, but I figured it would work its way out...because it usually does. So, doing what Denise does, I pushed through it and made the sound decision to go to the gym. 50 elliptical minutes later, things went downhill. I always make the smartest decisions.

My loving husband made me a wonderfully hot bath last night, and made dinner for the kids and their friend from across the street who was spending the night. We got the kids to sleep and I warmed up my cornbag and climbed into bed, anxious to wake up feeling good as new so we could go to church and then.....the gym. Yes, I really did plan to do it all again today. I always make the smartest decisions.

Instead, I have had my morning breakfast of 3 ibuprofen and 1 hydrocodone.

See, I told you I was kinky.

RESOLUTIONS

As we begin a fresh new year, I find myself, along with the rest of the world, excited for "fresh starts". While its a bit cliche', I also have put together a list of resolutions for 2010.

*first and foremost, I would like to nurture my relationship with God. Learn more about his word. Listen to him more. We are attending a church we love, and I would love to find a small group for us to join.

*Nurture my marriage. Treat my husband with the respect he deserves, even if I may disagree with him. I want our children to grow up and have healthy, loving relationships. Unfortunately, we don't always set the best examples for them. I will praise my husband more, criticize him less, and love him unconditionally.

*Continue to focus on my health. The past few months have brought a complete lifestyle change for me. It's my new normal, and I love it. I have literally never felt better than I do right now, and I know it will only get better. The healthy eating, yoga and religious excercise are slowly changing my body as well as my mind!

*Nurture my children more, and be more patient with them. Play with them more, raise my voice at them less.

*Stop complaining so much.

There are a few others, but they are private so I'm keeping them to myself. I love the fresh start that January brings.....I always feel so encouraged by it. Good luck on your resolutions!!

NOT'S

I DID NOT spend 99% of this day in my pj's. (I even went grocery shopping in "half" pj's, and then changed back into FULL Pj's when I got home)

I DID NOT get ditched tonight by a friend who decided sugar cookies were more enticing. I must say that I DO NOT blame her.

I CAN NOT believe the crappy week my sister has had, which in turn led to the cancellation of her trip home for Christmas.

I MIGHT NOT get the heaping pile of laundry folded and put away, because I may be playing the wii.

I WILL NOT spend any more money this Christmas. Enough already!

I SHOULD NOT have eaten 2 rice krispie treats this afternoon.

I HAVE NOT turned into a texting fanatic since my husband finally got unlimited texting on our plan.

I CAN NOT resist stealing said husband's fancy new blackberry to play with it when he's not watching, and setting new Pandora stations that he will drive him crazy just for the fun of it. :)

I COULD NOT drink one more drop of water today.

I WILL NOT feel sorry for myself and my husband and the fact that we have nothing that resembles a "long holiday weekend", like practically everyone else we know! I WILL, however, celebrate holiday pay, wellness checks and overtime pay.

I CAN NOT believe I still haven't finished my Mom's birthday scarf. Her birthday was 2 months ago exactly. My Mom, however, CAN believe that I still haven't finished her birthday scarf.

I SHOULD NOT be on this computer right now. I have a girl that wants some snugglin'.

So, off I go.

THE POINSETTIA

Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, a complete stranger by the name of Carolyn gave me a poinsettia. She walked up to me and said "Has anyone given you a poinsettia this year?", and I replied "No". Then she said "Well I want to buy one for you". How sweet! She was a lovely lady who obviously has a heart of gold. To pass along the cheer, I bought two poinsettias myself and let the kids deliver them to two of our neighbors, one of which has had a grueling year watching her 5 year old son battle leukemia. It felt great to pay it forward and was a great example of giving for my children.

Thank you, Carolyn, wherever you are.

COCKTAILS, ANYONE?

Oh, how I could go for a cocktail right about now. I had the workday from you. know. where. In fact, it was such a fantastic day that I am going back tomorrow morning at 3am. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming. Who knew that my life would be so glamorous. If only I could spend every day at work accomplishing the impossible, completing work on an unrealistic labor budget, bringing my work home, and of course doing it all with a smile on my face because, of course, I can indeed work miracles and am more than happy to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Back to that cocktail. Given that we are heading out to the door in a short bit to Gracie's daisy scout meeting, it would seem apparent that alcohol would be a poor choice right now. You know. 'Cause I'm driving and all. Instead I will have to settle for a hot cup of hazelnut coffee served with a side of bitter and angry.

It just doesn't taste the same.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Yesterday, I turned the ripe-old age of 37. I share my birthday with my dear friend Jenni, who did NOT turn 37! {I love ya Jenni!}

My day was filled with birthday wishes from friends and family, lunch with a friend, flowers from my husband and children, gifts, and finished off with a dinner date with Paco at Twigs, and included not one but two lemondrop martinis. Wow, they hit me hard, but were soooo good! This morning I am having coffee and ibuprofen for breakfast. The meal of champions.

I have been such a slacker about blogging!! I have lots to say, but keep getting wrapped up in everything else. Soooo, tonight you can expect a big ole' post about what's been going on in my life. I know you are waiting with baited breath, right?

Oh yeah, I'm up to 23 pounds lost! Sweet!!

TIS THE SEASON

*warning: the following post was written by an irritated author who is apparently feeling very sorry for herself today. You've been warned!

This week, while I am so thankful for so many things, I can't help but feel a little down, missing my own family. Working in the industry that I do, the holidays do not bring extra time off to enjoy the season. Instead, I'm lucky to get 2 days off together. I find myself feeling bitter about it every holiday season.

It is what it is, and after 16 years of it, I've found there isn't much hope of change.

I'm envious of those who get 4 and 5 day weekends to travel and see their loved ones, or even just to relax around home, put up decorations, and re-energize. This year, I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get decorations up, shop, and muster up any holiday cheer. Truthfully I don't even want to. I am one person and I can only do so much. I have one day off this week and it will be spent frantically trying to get the leaves out of my yard and get ready for the snow to hit. If I don't do it myself, it won't get done and I will have a giant mess in the spring. Halloween decorations are still piled in the basement waiting for me to pack them away. The list does go on and on. I want to give up, throw my hands in the air and fly away to Virgina to be with my sister, drink wine and pour my heart out about the unfairness of it all. Instead, I will press on as I always do.

UGH. I don't even know what kind of post this is. I'm obviously out of sorts this morning...wanting to go work out but the gym is closed. Maybe some yoga will ease the tension and lift my spirits.

Feeling hopeful...

RANDOM EARLY MORNING THOUGHTS

*why DO I get up so early?
*can my neighbors see me walking around in my underwear?
*would they really WANT to?
*I love the peaceful house in the early morning
*working in grocery retail really puts a damper on your holiday spirit
*do I have to put on makeup today?
*my butt is definately shrinking
*I love my son for his uniqueness
*really need to get those leaves out of the yard before the snow hits
*my house is a train wreck
*wish the gym was open this morning
*dreaming of a warm tropical place
*what should I pack for lunch?
*missing my sister
*wonder if I'll wake everybody up if I use the blender. duh.
*thankful for a healthy family
*I love my daughter for her sweetness
*I hate carpet
*Why can't there be more hours in the day?
*My husband is an amazing father
*I've lost 18 pounds!
*how do those jiffy lube guys really feel about having to stand on the corner and wave?
*It's too darn early to think clearly

Time to face the inevitable and get ready for work. Hope you enjoyed my random early morning thoughts.

REMEMBER ME?

Yeah, me!! I haven't dropped off the face of the planet...I've just been busy. Swamped really. I've got all sorts of fun things to post about...Cole's birthday parties, Halloween, etc. Maybe tomorrow. Or perhaps the day after.

Frankly dear friends, Denise is pooped.

GRATITUDE

As I find myself spending more and more precious time griping and complaining about everything from hectic scheduling, work, housework, laundry, etc. I received a dose of stark reality yesterday when a very close friend of mine confided in me yesterday regarding a serious health issue she's facing. She has a family, children and a busy life just like I do. When you put things into the correct perspective and let all the fog clear, you see clearly what matters most.

So, I will be grateful for a busy schedule. It means we have time and a little extra money to allow our children to do things like ballet, soccer, scouts and some extra fun stuff too.

I will be grateful for my job. It means I am more fortunate than many to help provide an income, double health coverage for my children, and retirement security for Paco and myself.

I will be grateful for housework. It means I have a home to live in. My children have a safe place to grow up in and feel secure.

I will be grateful for laundry. and yardwork. and jam-packed weeks. Grateful for birthday parties to plan. Grateful for my children. Grateful for all the wonderful new friends I have made through all of my children's activities.

On the days and weeks (and hours) when I feel like I can't get a single breath to myself, I will be grateful. I'm lucky, because God has blessed my life richly.

Now, I will tackle some of that housework that I am so grateful for!

KNIT KNACKS

Yes, dear friends, I have finally completed my first knitting project! The olive green scarf is done, and I'm relatively happy with it. Only one dropped stitch, other than that no mistakes.and here's my favorite little model with another view....

It went fairly quick since I used larger needles to give it a more "lacy" effect. Now, I have moved on to a rainbow scarf for Gracie. She and I picked out the yarn together, and its sooooo soft and lovely. See?

and here's some yarn that I picked out just in time for fall. I love the pinks, yellows and oranges!The girls in my knitting club are taking a hat class soon. Gracie's scarf would be soooo cute with a matching hat, dontcha think? So many hobbies, so little time....